Fabulous Forty: No. 25 Eye Exam

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It’s common knowledge that sometimes just after your 40th birthday, while you are peacefully sleeping or just minding your own business, your arms shrink and you can no longer hold a book, newspaper, magazine or other printed matter from enough away from your face in order to read it.  For some reason, instead of correcting our too short arms, the medical community insists it’s an age-related disorder called presbyopia, or “old eyes”.  Presbyopia is treated by engaging in an absurd retail exercise of buying glasses off a rack at the pharmacy that are either a.) worn on a chain around our necks, b.) misplaced, requiring the purchase of approximately 50 other pairs of glasses to leave strategically around the house, or c.) wearing multiple pairs of glasses at the same time, with one pair on our faces and one on our heads.  Wouldn’t longer arms be easier?

unstoppable

As you probably know by now, I like to get ahead of these things.  If it’s inevitable, I will run out to meet it, wrestle it to the ground and take control.  So yesterday, I went and had my eyes examined to make sure my arms had not shrunk in my sleep.

I already wear contacts and have been growing ever more near-sighted since I was 19, so eye exams are a semi-regular thing in my life already. I still get a little apprehensive about them, because like of that stupid eye puff test.  Under normal circumstances I can sit and stare wide-eyed and unmoving for a good length of time, but once I put my face into the Eye Puffer of Death machine, I suddenly develop eye lid epilepsy and lose control of my ability to control my blinking.  I try very hard not to spasmodically blink like I’m a tweaker just long enough to stare at the little house in the picture so the machine can get a readable result.  I’ve had optometrists get a wee bit frustrated when they have to do the test three or four times to get results. It’s an issue.

But this go round, I managed to pass the eye test on the first try!  It’s a miracle!

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My prescription had changed just a wee bit, but nothing dramatic, and best of all, my arms haven’t shrunk any.  I can still go about wearing my same contact lenses for another couple years.  But when the time comes, and I do need reading/computer glasses, you can bet I’m going to get the funkiest pair Walgreens carries and rock that look.

No. 25  GET ANY EYE EXAM

DATE COMPLETED:  August 21

 

Fabulous Forty: No. 10 Professional Eyebrow Waxing

DATE COMPLETED:  August 20

Oooooooo boy!  I must put a disclaimer right here at the start.  The BEFORE picture is scary. There is no PhotoShop correction or beautification of my Nanny McPhee Eyebrows.  I let them go feral for about 2 months so the lady doing the waxing would have plenty of material to work with.

nanny mcphee

I really wasn’t sure where to start with this goal, aside from just letting my oh-so-abundant eyebrows do what they do, and I have an EXTREMELY small social circle, so asking a friend who they used only yielded a recommendation for eyebrow threading.  I wasn’t too keen on the idea of threading, so I once again turned to Yelp and reviews left there.

I settled on the European Wax Center.  I think it’s pretty safe to say that if there is a part of the country where hair grows, there’s a location of the European Wax Center. The salon (torture chamber? de-hairifier?)  had plenty of good reviews, it’s about a 3-minute drive from my house, and best of all I was able to make my appointment online, effectively avoiding any human interaction until it was absolutely necessary.

Here’s my Before Picture, and not for the faint of heart:

eyebrows before

Yikes.

I was actually excited, rather than nervous, going into the wax-o-matic. I have waxed my eyebrows at home for years and years, so I wasn’t concerned about pain.   Also, I had decided at the outset of this experiment, I was going to do something unusual for me and actually talk to people, like with words and eye contact and all that, about what I was doing and why I was doing it. So when I went in, I had been rehearsing my chit-chat in my head.  I find small talk works best for me if I script it first, otherwise my base reaction is to start quoting bits of trivia that rises to the surface.  I turn into the kid from Jerry Maguire, “Did you know the human head weighs eight pounds?”

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To avoid winning people over with my social awkwardness, or filling the room with one of my infamous and uncomfortable (for others) silences, I rehearse chit-chat in my head.

Anyway – excited to get de-haired and armed with a bullet  list of topics for chit-chat, I went in to the center and was met by a lovely and charming consultant who led me into a private room and then yanked out the hair off my face by the roots.

Here are the results:

eeybrows after

Since I was expanding my horizons and all that, I also let the consultant “fill in” my eyebrows and gel them into place. I think the fill is a bit of overkill for me.  AND as an added perk, the salon does your first waxing FREE.  Wooo hoooo!

This is going on my list of affordable indulgences from here on out. Not sure if I’ll remember to do it every month. I tend to forget to do girly things like that.  Shoot, I haven’t changed my earrings in over a year because it seems like such a hassle.  How am I gonna manage to make an appointment and show up for girly grooming each month?  I’ll shoot for semi-regular and see how it goes.

That’s two items down and 38 to go, although, I still need three more items to complete my Fabulous Forty list.

Up Next:  Eye Exam for the Aged and Semi-Blind and progress on the AFI Movie List and the BBC Big Read list.  Stay tuned for more scintillating, middle-aged action!

Fabulous Forty: No. 1 Eat at Cattleman’s Steakhouse

Cattlemens

Review Taken from Yelp:

If you like meat, I mean really really like meat, then this is the place for you. As you’d expect, the portions here are larger than your aunt Margie’s left butt cheek. The beef ribs are bomb, the potato skins are fab, and I have simply run out of hip words in my vocabulary to describe the meaty wonders of this place. Bring your stretchy pants and leave that belt at home. Drive up in your hummer straight into the handicap spot so you can literally be rolled out of the restaurant. Why? Because ‘Murica that’s why.

DATE COMPLETED:  August 16

I had my O-fficial Birthday Dinner at Cattlemen’s Steakhouse in Dixon, California.  I am a little biased when it comes to meat-based restaurants, having cut my teeth on Kansas City BBQ and growing up in a “cow town”, but it was good.  Not great, not the best I’ve ever had, but good.  I think Cattlemen’s reputation is due to a lack of competition in the marketplace.  People don’t know any better, and when you don’t know any better, Good is better than Nothing. While it didn’t blow my socks off, I had a good time and enjoyed the food.

I got the full birthday treatment, surrounded by family:  the obnoxious, but fun, birthday song, ice cream with a candle in it and a ridiculous straw hat.

Whirlwinds and School Supplies

Oh. My. Word.  Things have been happening around here.  First off, my husband, who is probably the most deliberate, cautious and risk-avoiding person I know made a huge decision that I am incredibly proud of:  he’s running for School Board. Our district went from an At-Large voting, similar to the way states vote for Senators, only it’s non-partisan, and switched to an Area-based system.  It took about two years and a gazillion dollars paid to a consultant to come up with this plan, but it’s finally happening in our upcoming election in November.  In an Area-based voting system, the candidate must live in the Area they want to represent and only residents of that defined area may vote for their candidates, which is a little more like the way states elect Representatives for the House, but again, it’s non-partisan.

There was some strategy meetings with the candidate and his team (aka, ME).  Platforms were discussed, campaign techniques, fundraising ideas, etc. While it had heaps of style and appeal, we had to reject my idea of using Pink Floyd’s “We Don’t Need No Education” as his theme song, announcing his candidacy in front of a giant brick wall and handing out pudding cups to anyone who showed up.   It kept us laughing for a good 10 minutes, though, and totally perplexed The Hobbit who was on board with the whole free pudding concept but unsure as to why that would be funny.  However, we did decide we really need a laser light machine in our arsenal for holiday decorating.

We eventually got around to being mature adults once the giggling settled down and pulled it all together.  I got busy with my mad organizational skillz, made lists, scribbled down ideas, and launched the online side of his campaign. There’s a Facebook page, a Twitter feed, and a Website.  

This past Monday, all three of us went down to the county building so Chris could file his paperwork and make it official. It was exciting and for him, a little scary.  I’m proud of him for putting himself out there and taking this chance that is outside his comfort zone.  Surely you’ve heard/read the Edmund Burke quote, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing”? I don’t think our current school board is evil, I think they’re making difficult policy the best they can, but I am bursting with pride that the good man I’m married to is doing something where he sees a need. How many of us have taken a big leap like that?  It’s scary and exposing, but he took that first step and I’m right there beside him.

In the midst of the whirlwind for school board candidacy, we have also been getting The Hobbit ready for school.  What an exciting time!  There have been school supplies to buy, though, not many, and also some preparation for Mom & Dad.  The program The Hobbit is participating in requires parent involvement in the classroom, which I’m really looking forward to, but that means we have to be cleared according to the Megan’s Law guidelines, which amounted to time spent getting fingerprinted down at the District offices.  

It’s been about 15 years since I was last fingerprinted for a school job, and then it was a Big Deal because it was being done with that new-fangled Live Scan process.  The machines were so expensive they were shared between public entities.  The last time I had it done was at the Napa County Sheriff’s office (they had the machine twice a week at that time), and the machine was about the size of a massive Xerox copier.  Imagine my surprise, and delight, at the newer versions that are basically a laptop and a scanner the size of a credit card reader.   The woman doing the scanning was really great, too.  It’s always so nice when you have to go do something required and costly to have someone with fabulous customer service skills at the helm.

I feel like we’ve been going non-stop for about 10 days now.  I wanted to shut down and not think for a little while. So this afternoon at 2:55 I sat down to watch last night’s Daily Show, and in the opening lines, John Stewart made a “Guardians of the Galaxy” reference. I looked up movie times and made a spontaneous decision to go to a 3:20 pm showing, because it’s discount movie day, and I am a giant geek who has been anxiously awaiting this movie. 

It did not disappoint.  Easily the best acting Vin Diesel has ever done.  Ever.  If he doesn’t get an Oscar nod for delivering such riveting lines as “I am Groot,” then he’ll never get one.  Maybe a Golden Globe.  I laughed and cried my way through that movie and would happily go see it again.  Who’s with me?   

I have also been counting down the days until my 40th birthday and working on my 40 Things in My 40th Year List. Also, that title is cumbersome.  I need a better one. How about The First Forty?  That may be a possibility.

 I thought for sure I’d have that list done by now.  I had ideas running willy nilly all through my head, loads written down and now that I’m faced with making decisions, I’ve got nuthin’.  Well, not entirely nothing, I have slightly more than half and the other ideas I have make me feel, “meh.”  It’s gotten nerve-racking!  Am I going to get it finished by the 15th?  What if, *gasp*, I’ve just run out of ideas? It’s a writer’s nightmare.  I’m going to ask again – if anyone has any suggestions for what they’d do if handed this task, please leave me a comment below or on Facebook.  Even if I don’t use your idea, it might nudge my neurons and light of a couple sparks. 

 

Happy Birthday, Harry!

It’s Harry Potter’s birthday today. Oh sure, he’s a fictional creation, but let’s hop on down to the Three Broomsticks anyway and have a round of butter beer to wash down those chocolate frogs. Buy a round for the crowd and raise your glass to the most well-known figure in children’s literature.   Or better yet, introduce a child  (or an adult) to the books.  I know that’s what I’ll be doing!  If you happen to be in the neighborhood, please stop by our Little Free Library, as it has been stocked with Harry Potter books in honor of Harry’s birthday.

See the original posting of this over at deviantART by clicking on the image.

Unveiling

unveiling

Attention, please.  Ahem!  May I have your attention, please?  Thank you.  Didn’t mean to pull out the Mom Voice there, but wanted to make sure those in the back of the room could hear me, because this is exciting stuff.

If you’ve been hanging around here any length of time, you know we do Halloween in a big way, with an extensive display in the yard and also a big book giveaway for All Hallows Read. These things take time and planning and sometimes a little bit of magic to make a small budget stretch to cover everything. We usually start planning in mid-to-late summer, which would be (looks at watch), about now. So I met with the planning committee (aka, Fakefish), and we did some brainstorming. 

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There wasn’t a white board and dry erase markers involved, but there was some pretty emphatic gesturing and maybe a sketch or two on the back of an envelope.  We took a vote, and this year’s Halloween Theme has been decided upon. (So Say We All.)

Hang onto your hats, folks, because this year we’re going multicultural.  Our Halloween Theme for 2014 is:

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Technically, Dia de los Muertos, or Days of the Dead, is Oct. 31 – Nov. 2, so we can leave the decorations up a couple extra days. But I can tell you right now, I am going to have fuuuuuuuuun with this one!  Sugar skulls and smiling skeletons and marigolds and bright colors and banners… *pant,pant* There’s a Pinterest board for planning purposes chock full of ideas.   I’m scouring the Crafty Chica website for ideas and slinking around the image banks on Google for further inspiration. 

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This year’s theme also ties in nicely with an upcoming movie, The Book of LIfe, which will hopefully generate even more interest in my ulterior motive of getting books into the hands of kids and getting them excited about reading. If I have to piggyback that interest on candy and wild Halloween displays, all the better!

The Book of Life

The Book of Life